Saturday, January 21, 2012

The post in which I snap out.

First of all this is going to be a venting post.  Sorry about that in advance.  I just have to try to keep it real on here because that is how life is.  I also use this blog as a diary sometimes to just talk it out.  So, Wednesday I was bummed that Emily's speech issues are severe enough for speech therapy.  I'm not upset that she has to do it, I mean, it would be better if she didn't, but mainly I just feel bad for not going with my gut and pushing for it, and allowing the doctor to hold all the power.  I should  have been stronger and gone past him.  So, Friday I am feeling better about it, excited to get the process going, and then I head to preschool for conference day with Emily and Rachel's teachers.   Dave went with me, and I was ready to share info on what was going on with Emily, and see how they are doing in school.

I guess I need to back up, and say when we enrolled Emily this year, I wanted her in the 2 year old class, instead of the 3's.  She turned 3 in September, and she just barely made the cut off for the three's.  I felt 2 would be more appropriate, because of the concerns I had from all her ear infections, and being behind with her talking. I turned in the 2 year old application and everything, and then was told not to hold her back then, that if she needed to be held back, it's better to keep them for a 2nd year in the 4 year old class before starting Kindergarten.  I balked at it, and even tried to again to keep her in the 2 year old class before school started.  The head of the school convinced me to try it, and if there was a problem they would then put her back in the 2's after school started.  To make matters a bit more complicated, Emily was placed in a class with a teacher who my oldest had her last year when she went there, and myself, as well as seriously all of the other moms in the class were not pleased with.  To be honest the room mom of Laura's class last year wrote a letter to the board complaining about this teacher, and did not put her younger children back at this school because of the experience.  She had other moms sign the letter to.  I didn't sign the letter because I knew that this teacher was having personal problems going on, and I didn't want to be a part of bashing someone who was going through a rough time.  My oldest child is also a fast learner, and though she could have had a better teacher, I tried to ignore it and just tell myself it was just preschool.

So, my Emily ends up with this lady for this year.  At our first conference, back in October, she says things are fine, and ensures me that if I had placed Emily in the 2's she would have been bored.  I have not had any more communication with her, other then letting her know about when she got glasses, and that I was trying to get her into speech therapy.  I had one issue in which Emily had an accident at school right before pickup, and she was put in the car without having been put in clean clothes, and didn't even mention it, when it was obvious she had one.  I immediately called the head of the school with my concern, and I wasn't even mean about it, I just asked that it be looked into.

So back to her conference.  As soon as we sit down the first thing out of her mouth is, "so can anything else be done about her vision, and can it get better?"  I asked what she meant as Emily got glasses back in October, and everyone else has raved about how they notice a huge difference in her since she got glasses.  Her reply was that Emily sometimes takes her name sticker and sticks on the board upside down.  She only does that a couple of times, she admitted.  I am sure other 3 year olds put up items upside down from time to time, and it's not because they are blind.  She then asked if we had hearing tested.  I told her yes, and that she has no hearing issues.  She then asked about a new strap for her glasses as once she has had to adjust them for her, and there had to be something better we could buy.  At this point, I am getting angry because obviously this teacher hates dealing with my child's glasses.  She even admitted that she hates those things.  I informed her we got several types of straps, and the one we use has worked out the best.  Once in a while the strap will come lose and we help her with it.  The conference went on and on, and she did not have one positive thing to say.  She at least behaves in class, and follows directions, (I am guessing because she didn't say she wasn't).  She then said she doesn't know her shapes.  I asked her how she tests for that.  She said she points to the picture and asks them what it is.  I told her that Emily does know her shapes as when I tell her to find a square, etc, she will point to the correct one.  The teacher admitted she didn't try that with her. I mean really?  I am not a teacher, but I am guessing any other person would try another method to see if the child really understands the concept at all.  Don't get me wrong, I am not expecting the teacher to tell me my child is perfect, but hearing one positive thing would have been nice.  I also think, with everything she laid out, she shouldn't have waiting until conference to talk to me, she should have called me sooner. Also, if this is how she is doing then she needed to be put in the 2's like I originally wanted.

We had to then go to Rachel's conference.  I walked in, the teacher just looked at me, and I started crying hysterically.  Not like one little tear rolling down my cheek while looking upset, we are talking full out bawling.  Yepp.  Total basket case.  So her two teachers, and my husband  then spent the first 5 minutes trying to calm me down, and then those teachers honestly starting ragging on the other teacher.  They both had worked with her in the past, and they told me that she's completely inappropriate, and have had issues with her.  They were as sweet as they could be with me, and made me feel better.  Rachel's conference went great, and she's ready for kindergarten next year.  She will go to Laura's school next year.

So back to Emily...I have called the preschool and left a message to have a meeting with the director.  I never wanted to be a bad guy and complain, but I am going to express my concerns with the teacher, and I am also going to the board of the school about it.  I also have spoken to other children's parents in the class, and they too said the teacher had nothing positive to say about their children in conference, and they left feeling awful.  With this many people being upset they need to either get her out of the school, or give her some suggestions to do her job better.  They obviously didn't take the parents complaints last year into consideration, and if they want to keep their stellar reputation they need to do something different.  For that many people to make a huge stink last year to the board and director, AND for at least 5 of the maybe 8 teachers total who teach there to talk lowly about her teaching abilities then something needs to be done.  To be completely honest, if I can get her in another class right now, I am going to do it, but from what I have already researched the other classes are full.  With that being said I want her back in the 3 year old class again next year, because it makes no sense for her to move up if she hasn't learned what she needs to. I am not going to let them tell me what "they suggest", if they want my money then they will comply or I can find another school to pay that will let me.  I am going to make sure I do everything in my power to make sure I can give my kids the best that I can.  If things do not get better I will just take her out of the school all together mid year.  She deserves better.  I know I can talk a big talk on here sometimes, but I honestly hate confrontation, and hurting someones feelings, and there is no way to do this without the teacher knowing how I feel.  Having to do this is not easy, as I know the head of school is going to think I am a crazy mom.  It's even more interesting since the head of the school is my husband's bosses mother in law, so let's hope I don't snap out on her for the sake of my husbands job.


1 comment: said...

Ugh. Robyn! I'm so sorry. That is just awful. Totally inappropriate of this teacher. I worked a a daycare which was of the "upperend" of daycares and it had a pretty laid out cirriculum for daycare so I like to call it a preschool. I finally had to quit because it was just shocking to me how little some of the people (teachers) cared for the kids. Many teachers DID care, and loved those kids and worked hard on the cirriculum. Many..didn't. And they were ugly to the parents in regards to the children. All I can say is it was bizarre. I had NO idea, you know. One thing is certain, you are ABSOLUTELY correct about this teacher. If EVERYONE practically is saying something about her being inappropriate, then she needs to be let go. Simple as that. She doesn't fit the job.

I found this kind of situation at this particular daycare I worked at as well. Certain people who caused the most turmoil in the joint, were promoted, praised, faults completely overlooked... and the qualified teachers with degrees, were never promoted...or recognized. Those teachers, almost always ended up quitting - moving on to another job where they could really use their talents. It was sad. :(

I know it's hard to confront people. I've got some situations like that too recently where I've had to step up and say "no" to some things. It's hard. And I hate doing it. But I *have* to do what's right for my child. I'm there with ya. Do what you have to do!
Hope it all gets worked out soon!