It's probably PMS

I am having a "debbie downer day". I am irritated, and have been since yesterday. My oldest two were born a year and 2 weeks a part so February is a busy month around our house with another family's birthday in the mix, and everyone is still recovering from Christmas, and another crazy amount of family birthdays in Jan. ANYWAYS, I do seperate birthdays for my kids despite suggestions from some family members to combine their birthdays. I know it would be easier for me, attendees, etc, but I want my kids to have their own special day. As there is 3 of them they have to share enough as it is, so I am determined to make sure their days are special and non shared. Maybe I will give in, but for now I am holding my ground.

Yesterday was Rachel's party. I always do a dinner or lunch as I just want it to be a nice time and feed people who make the time and effort to come and give a gift, and celebrate another year of life. I already posted on how stressful that is enough when people wont RSVP so I end up over cooking, wasting time, money, etc . Well, my sister, the one I hold dear to me, called 3 hours before to say she wasn't coming as she was going out with her friends to this other function. My kid doesn't have a clue, but it hurt my feelings greatly. She's going through her own thing, and trying to find herself I guess, and I am trying to understand that, but she's been sucking as a sister for over a year now. She treats her friends like gold, and the rest of us catch hell. I feel sorry for her, and I worry about her. But I would never in a million years miss one of her kids birthday partys. It wouldn't even be an option for me to choose something else over their bday. I love her bad ass kids that much. And she refers to herself as the favorite aunt, whatever.... To top it off, she apparently had told everyone else in the world she wasn't coming way ahead of time, but I didn't get the notice from her until three hours before. Her kids came, and I invited her ex in to eat, which I am probably going to catch hell for, and be black balled from her life.

I was already rattled as I had my MIL pick up the cake on her way over and apparently I told them the wrong spelling for Rachel's name. It was able to be fixed, and it was totally my error, but I felt bad about that. I even had a stellar mom moment at the party and started cutting the cake totally forgetting she needs to blow her candle out. Way to go mom.

So the sister situation thing had occured, and then a couple who said they were coming didn't show, and another couple didn't come, and then my nephews called to say they have a friend coming with them, and we had another one of those requests as well from more family. \ I guess that part was no big deal since I had so many party bailers I had plenty of food, but I totally think its rude, and would never think to bring someone else along to a party. Did I write on the invites bring your own friend or something?

So I was in a horrible mood for the entire party, busy trying make things nice, and I just failed in every aspect. I am making a mental note to stop trying so hard, and to just never get my hopes up or have faith in anyone especially my family and friends.