All my life I have always wanted to be a mom. I have to say I never knew how hard it would be. When they are babies we are responsible for feeding them, changing their diapers, making sure they are not to warm, or hot, and it's a lot of work. But I am learning that the infant/toddler rearing is a piece of cake. The hard part is going to be guiding them as they become independent, watching them make mistakes, seeing their first heart aches, and just crossing your fingers and hoping that your kid doesn't end up a failure. I feel like the main role of being a mom is to worry. I know worrying doesn't do you any good, and we can do all the right things but we can't control our kids forever. I still worry though, and honestly if I didn't worry then that's just being a crappy mom. Anxiety is pretty much my middle name.
So here I am, freaking out about what school to put my child in next year. How is it that already my oldest will be leaving preschool. I have already spent this year a little concerned about her class this year, and thinking about switching teachers, as this lady has just gives me this vibe that she's really unsure of her own teaching abilities, and I don't think that Laura is really being challenged in this class, and then I start feeling guilty for becoming THAT PARENT. Freaks me out. I think I finally decieded to leave her where she is at, as it's just preschool, and she's a smart cookie. I can always work with her at home on things to challenge her some more.
However next year as she will start Kindergarten, I find myself getting all worked up all over again. Cue the panic attacks. There are a lot of private school options in our area that I have to get on the ball with checking out. Dave and I had a long talk with Rachel's teacher (who I seriously adore and wish she could just teach all my kids for their entire school careers). I really value her opinion, and as she has a young daughter in our area she's been through the researching. She did encourage us to not completely rule out public school, as she has been very happy with a magnet school in our city. The deal is though they can't get into this school as a kindergardener, they only allow that in 1st grade if it's out of your zone, which of course it is. So this has added a whole another equation in. The snotty school that added a elementry program has been completely rulled out by moi. I know things have not changed there, and I will be damned if I let my daughter either a. be buillied by snobs or b. turn into a snob. Yes it can happen elsewhere but it's seriously a bigger problem there. Yall, someone needs to do an intervention there asap.
I will be visiting schools soon, and taking my time on this one, but I just really need some prayers as I try to make the right decision. Ideally, I would like all three kids at one school, but I know the right fit may not be right for Rachel or Emily so that just adds to my anxiety. Momma needs a chill pill.