Thursday, July 9, 2009

sniffle....

ahhh my work week is done... deep breaths...let's just say the work stress has offically gotten to me this week, and three times I broke down in sobs. Once in front of my boss while attempting to talk to her, and another time in the bathroom, and once more at lunch...

So I never claimed to handle change or stress very well... You ever feel like you can never make anyone happy? Today I had the urge to walk out and smoke a cigarette, and I don't even smoke. I can't go into specifics, but I was so excited to solve half of a transportation crisis, in which I made two patients very happy, but my boss feels if a patient goes to anyone but us they will be shot on sight, so instead of her being excited for these patients and saying how awsome it was for me to find a place for them (against all odds might I add), I get to hear how VERY disappointed she is that they wont come to her. Seriously... I just made two little old ladies day, the ladies will be able to keep their same routine, have the transportation, same appointment times, keep their doctor, but because they are going somewhere besides our place it's a disappointment. So she's hurt they chose some place else, and is taking it personally, when her place has never even been a possibility for them, and I am hurt and taking it personally for working hard and trying to explain to patients every five minutes whats going on ('cause face it, old people's memories are not the best) while not feeling appreciated, and worrying about people going behind my damn back. So yeah shortly after I had a nice long cry in the bathroom. I feel all of the course of events lately have just torn everyone apart. People are mad at each other, getting feelings hurt, being sneaky, etc, and it bothers me for two reasons. 1. the whole thing has been a cluser f*** 2. let's face it, my coworkers are my closest friends these days, and I hate all the tension, and feeling of hatred, and that I can't talk to anyone.

I know things will get better, but I just wish it would get better soon. I am really unhappy.

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3 comments:

The Family said...

I wish we lived closer, I am sure we would be good friends. we have a lot in common!

Jenny said...

Hugs, hun...I hope you feel better after the weekend.

wife.mom.nurse said...

i do hope you can get your stress level under control...I wish I would have last summer before things got out of control. My health issues came about when I was under so much stress that I found myself crying often.

Take care of you. Your kids need a healthy momma.

I'm sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time.

~Julie