*I purchased half of a bikini yesterday.  During my lunch break I went in Target and tried one on.  I even took a picture.  Your crazy if you think I am posting it, but I did send it to two coworkers- to see if their immediate response was WTF, or ewww.    I finished shopping and then made the decision to purchase the bikini top.  The bottom was ok, but I wasn't totally digging it, and I can get a black bottom anywhere that I would like better.

*Since the weight loss I gotta be honest.  The "Girls" are pretty non-exhistant now.  That could be solved I guess with implants, but honestly I don't know if I could ever go through it.  I wouldn't have a problem doing lipo or anything else, but the idea of something false being in my body kinda freaks me out big time. Also, let's be honest.  How many of you know someone who has had a boob job?  If it's known publicly, then that's all anyone remembers them for.  Honestly, I think it was easier to shop for a bikini top without having to worry to find a top big enough to keep me covered up top.  I guess that's at least a plus for being basically flat chested =)

*My husband made an amazing meal last night. He smoked some ribs, made an apple crisp, and even made fried pickles.  Good think I like working out.

* We have a busy weekend filled with baseball field clean up, seeing friends, birthday parties, pool clean up day, and attempting to get packed up to head to PA for little mini vacation to get some shopping done.

*Dave picked me up some wine racks for the inside of my pie safe from my favorite local consignment shop earlier this week.  I am still working on filling it up =)

*I am so excited about summer!  I am going to have the older girls on the local pools swim team this year, so I am trying to look into some other fun programs for them this summer, but want to make sure I don't' have them overly booked up.  Swim team will take a big chunk of time, so right now I am considering a 1 week ballet camp when swim team is over, or some art classes.  So many of the programs fill up before summer, so I am trying to get everything lined up now.

Self Esteem Post...

What is it about girls and self esteem, and by girls I mean from little girls to women my age.  Yesterday I was off, and my little one's speech therapy session was canceled because the therapist was sick, so I decided we should do something fun after school.  I called a girlfriend to see if she and her daughter wanted to join us at a park for picnic, and I threw together a lunch for all of us trying to be spontaneous.  I don't do a good job with being spontaneous though lol.

I had a good time as well as the kids, and we ran into another mom we know and hung out with her for a while. I stayed until I had to pick up my oldest from school, and then once I got home I hung out with some neighbors, and one stayed with her kiddos until after dinner.  It was a fun day, but I couldn't relax as I felt totally insecure and gross about myself.

I had gone to the gym that morning after school drop offs, and when I decided to do the picnic, I hadn't had time to grab a shower, or heck even put on makeup or brush my hair.  Since it was hot out I threw on a sleeveless shirt with some jeans.  I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but once it first gets warm I loath going out in public in shorts or a sleeveless shirt, as I feel like Casper the friendly ghost.  So I felt stinky, pasty, and ugly compared to my beautiful friends all day yesterday.  I had fun, and enjoyed the company of other friends and their kiddos, but I couldn't relax as I was constantly worrying about them all snickering about me being so crazy looking looking yesterday.

Seriously, once our guests left, I got a shower, and promptly got online and spent $90 on new blush, and an eyeshadow set, determined that these makeup items are going to be life changing for me.

Friends around me are having plastic surgery and losing weight, and despite my 50 lb weight loss I am still not content in my own skin.  I have some friends who are trying to talk me into getting a bikini and wearing it in public this year.  Last year I bought one for laying out in the backyard in, and I tried to wear it in Nags Head thinking I didn't know anyone there, but I was still paranoid the whole time.  The truth is I have awful stretch marks from my first baby, that apparently are a million times worse in my head.  My girlfriend made me show her in the plaza bathroom a few weeks ago, and she deemed me crazy.  Grant it, a bikini isn't really reasonable for a mom of three to sport at the pool while trying to keep up with the kids, but it would be nice to be able to wear one and feel ok in it, and not feel like everyone is making fun of you.

I know the majority of all my troubles are in my head, and I need to learn to love myself.  I know I would be heart broken if my daughters felt the way about themselves that I feel about me.  I hope I can do something right with them though, so they don't feel that way ever, but as females, I think we are all destined to feel this way at some point in our life.

Catch up post...

It's been busy around our house here this past week.  We have had some gorgeous, warm weather, so we have been outside a lot, riding bikes, feeding the fish, and practicing for T-ball.  I think Dave is doing a great job coaching.  He really is awesome with kids.  I helped him out yesterday as the assistant coach was out of town, and after watching him from the sidelines trying to keep 10 4-5 year olds attention, I couldn't stand it anymore and got on the field too with Emily, and helped out.  I will say, that after being around other kids about the same age as my own, I am really proud of how well my kids actually listen, and behave.  Some of these kids are wild lol.

I am trying something new this year, and I am trying to grow my veggie garden from seeds.  I have the seeds sprouting in the house right now, and if all goes well I will be able to transplant them outside soon.  I have no idea what I am doing.

My mom had pre-orderd Pioneer Woman's new cookbook, and it arrived this week!  I have been looking over it, and it looks like a lot of the items in the book are from her tv show, which I like.  It looks to be a really good book.

There is a local furniture consignment store in Hilton Village that I just love that has the cutest things! They have a Facebook page that they use to take pictures of items in their shop that are for sale.  They had a cute white cake stand, that I spied in a picture, and I had commented on the picture, and my mom ran down there and picked it up for me this week! It's milk glass, and has such great detail on the underside of it.

Dave was off this weekend, and we had a fun Saturday.  A lady in the JL had tickets to a play in Hilton Village, for her family of 5 and wasn't able to use them, and offered them up for free.  We all went to it, and enjoyed a cute play of the The 3 Little Pigs.  The girls loved it, and it kept their attention well. After the play we went in a  few shops in the same village.  We wandered down to the furniture consignment store, in which if I had a bigger house, I would have purchased about 3-4 pieces of furniture.  Seriously, they have this awesome antique game table for just $295 that I would have scooped up in a heartbeat, but considering I have three pieces of furniture that I just got at an estate sale, that I had to find room for, we just have no where to put it.  Don't think I didn't try to find a place ;)  I ended up finding something though for a family member who has a birthday coming up.  Because the kiddos behaved so well we  got them cupcakes from a cupcake shop there too.

Dave and I enjoyed a date night later with dinner and movie.  We saw 21 JumpStreet, which has to be the funniest movie we have seen in a long time.

Massanutten Recap

We had a very nice vacation, and it was over too fast.  I think if we go there next year at this same time again, we will do the whole week, as with the nicer weather we were motivated to get out and do more.  We usually only do half a week, and then invite someone to stay the rest of the time.

We had a good time, had weather ranging from snow to 60 degrees.  The snow was awesome, and it was the only real snow my kiddos got to experience this year, since our area in NN didn't get much.  We hit up the water park a few times, went tubing, went hiking, played on the playgrounds, and just relaxed.  Emily is still too young for ski class, though the other are old enough, so maybe one day when they are old enough we can actually go skiing.  I have not been able to go since before we had Laura.
Not much really going on with me other then trying to get over some allergy issues that hit me when he got back into town.

Friday stuff....

*My husband came home from work early this morning, and surprised us by whipping up some waffles.  He also had my coffee ready for me in my favorite pink mug =)  My goodness I love him!

*Our oldest child's school was given a private screening of the movie The Lorax early this morning, and my husband and I helped chaperone.  We took one of her school friends with us in our car, she cracked us up!  She's an adorable girl whose parents are both doctors.  Dave was telling her that he was going to clean the house later today, since we are leaving for vacation, and one of our quirks is that we like to come home to a clean house.  (I am sure this was really thrilling for a 6 year old to hear).  Dave asked her if her family liked to do the same thing, she told Dave that her family had a cleaning lady who did that.  Dave turned to me in the car and told me he wished he had a cleaning lady, I turned to him and told him I wished he was a doctor.  =)

*We loved the movie! I seriously got all teary eyed at the end of it, because it has such a good message for children, and for adults for that matter.  Dr. Seuss was a pretty amazing guy ;)  We don't own a copy of the book, so I am going to pick up a copy of the Lorax for our family to have.

*I am still all obsessed with my pie safe.  It has one bottle of wine in it lol, and it's a cheap twist top one, but I am just crazy over the new addition in our house.  I love that the items in our home have so many stories. Not much is brand new as far as furniture goes.  We have a hand full of store bought items, and most else came has a neat story behind it.  I hope my former neighbors are happy that some of their items have stayed on the street, and are with someone that cared about them.

*I went and saw my grandmother today. She is still getting skilled care at the nursing home.  To best honest I have not visited her like I should, or talked about her much.  It's just really awful to see someone who was always so sharp and full of life be in her condition.  She doesn't know who many people are.  She still has some ok moments, but her quality of life is not good right now.  To be honest, when I went and saw her this morning, I wanted to turn around and leave right away.   From what I have seen of her, she's not getting any better.  I don't think she will ever be able to leave the nursing home.  I know I need to see her more.  I mean I see people at work who are worse off then her, but it's different when it's someone you love.  I know it doesn't make it right though, and I need to work on seeing her more, instead of trying to put it out of my mind.

*I got the bill for the neighborhood pool, and that excited me greatly as I know summer is around the corner!!  So worth it's weight in gold...

*T-ball for the girls is starting, and I am interested to see how Dave survives coaching.  I being the control freak that I am, am trying not to make suggestions at this time. =)  Emily is also starting gymnastics next month since she's too young for Tball.

*We leave tomorrow for Massanutten, and I am excited!  So happy for a getaway with my family!