Thursday, October 18, 2012

Right  now I am in survival mode as I finish my last week of dealing with being on opposite schedules with my husband.  For the month anyways.  I will relish for a month of having my lovely husband home more for the next month before we do this all over again.  I am thankful for jobs, and job security, but I am not a flexible type b personality type person who can just go with the flow.  I like timeliness, organization, planning for things ahead of time, and getting things done right.  I like these things in my personal life, work life, etc, and when they don't go that way I tend to melt down.  I can not relax if my house is a wreck and I am even further behind on laundry (I am never caught up, but when I am 5 loads behind then I panic).  I know when I am single parenting that things will get behind and I try to relax but I end up killing myself to attempt to get it all done.  

I am pretty much in melt down mode this week. I am trying to tell myself I can only do my best and control my actions, and reactions.  But it seems I can tell myself this all month long, I even do a pretty good job at first, and then the last few days I need someone to just hug me and tell me it's ok.

I don't know how single moms do this.  I don't know how someone can work a demanding job, keep a clean house, and parent appropriately.   But millions of women do it. Every day.  They are my heroes, and I am so thankful I have great help from my husband.  I am not a super mom.  I try so hard to be there for every event for the kids, keep them involved in activities, ensure they have all their needs met, and I have to realize that my kids are not going to understand the sacrifices and always show appreciation like I want them to.   If they don't get it today, one day they will.  They might be 30 years old, and not get it until they have kids of their own, but one day they will hopefully thank me.


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